God's Man | Why Did I Get Married...

So I asked a question today on Facebook, “Why did you marry your spouse?” I have the best Facebook friends on the planet and those that responded delivered. Positive or not I was glad to read their thoughts. The reason why I asked that question was, during my move over the weekend, I heard a pastor say that married couples spend, on average, a little more than 30 minutes in conversation each day. This lead me to ask the question, which caught my wife’s attention, “Why get married?”

I knew someone would eventually ask what my reason were so I thought I better gather my thoughts. See I am not as eloquent as most so I needed to think this through. On one of our early dates, second or third, we were watching the movie, “The Man In The Iron Mask”. During that time we talked and laughed, while sitting on opposite ends of her ridiculously long couch. Time was forgotten and before we knew it it was 3:32 in the morning. That was when she said it was time to go. ;) Since I am not capable of sitting still for very long, still can’t, this was significant for me. I knew that she was the one but because I am a boy, and wasn’t sure on her end, I played it cool. ;)
The thing that really sealed the deal for me, was that our conversations were not about our emotions (even though we were in love), or our passion (Smokin!). They were about our future plans. We joke about how bottom line we were while dating. She was always pressing for my goals and I was always making sure that I not only had some but that I was achieving them. ;) I did the same to her though I am not sure the impact was the same. Like my friend Chris said, being around her makes me want to be a better man. We know that we were made for each other. We know that it was done intentionally. We know that there is a purpose for it and we are excited to run this race together.

I was talking with some friends last week. They are trying to get things back on track after drifting apart for a time. I asked them the same question that I asked all of you, Why Did You Get Married?” If you take the time to understand the why the how will take care of itself. In their case just remembering why made a big difference in their desire to correct their course.

Go Go Go

God's Man | Nighttime Musings - Questions

I was sitting here NOT SLEEPING and into my mind pops this quote from the Matrix,

I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer. You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.

During the last Men of Zebulun meeting, my churches men's group, I shared about how powerful questions are. They can either build up a belief system or tear it down. Early in the Bible Satan used questions to challenge the belief system of Adam and Eve (Genesis 3:1-5 Message),

The serpent was clever, more clever than any wild animal God had made. He spoke to the Woman: "Do I understand that God told you not to eat from any tree in the garden?"

The Woman said to the serpent, "Not at all. We can eat from the trees in the garden. It's only about the tree in the middle of the garden that God said, 'Don't eat from it; don't even touch it or you'll die.'"

The serpent told the Woman, "You won't die. God knows that the moment you eat from that tree, you'll see what's really going on. You'll be just like God, knowing everything, ranging all the way from good to evil."

Satan knew that he wouldn't be able to attack their belief in what God had said directly. He started the discourse with a question, "Did God really say..." This allowed the conversation dwell on a topic that didn't need additional discussion. God said should be the end of it but by focusing on it the trap had been set. Adam and Eve, notice I put Adam in there too, spent time on a subject that had been closed by God and succumbed to temptation.

In the Matthew Jesus uses words to challenge, inspire and motivate. (Matthew 5:43-47; 6:25-26 Message)

Power in Prayer

Jesus was matter-of-fact: "Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you. This mountain, for instance: Just say, 'Go jump in the lake'—no shuffling or shilly-shallying—and it's as good as done. That's why I urge you to pray for absolutely everything, ranging from small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you'll get God's everything. And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it's not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive—only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins."

Get Busy Loving Everyone

"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

Why Worry

"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

This morning I ask you to use your words to create a vision for you and your family. Here are some questions that will help to trigger your thinking. Have a great week.

When you dream, how grand is the vision you create? If you had NO LIMITS, what would you envision for yourself and your family? What really big and meaningful dream would you like to visualize achieving next?

Go Go Go

God's Man | Thoughts on Fathers Day...

Reflections on Fathers on Father's Day

Happy Father's Day out there to all of my brothers. Today is a day to be reminded of the call that we have, hopefully, embrace. I have been trying to find my place today. I have two beautiful and amazing daughters who show me love each and every day. I have a beautiful and amazing wife who honors me and shows me love every day. So when a holiday like Father's Day rolls around I don't expect lots of fanfare. I am actually put off but that kind of thing.

My morning started with breakfast in bed with all of us crammed into our Queen size with trays. The baby stealing pieces of food from my plate before taking from her own. My oldest chattering about her upcoming birthday. My wife and I listening and trying not to rush to get ready for church. This was a moment to listen. A time to pull back from the whirlwind and embrace the present moment. I wonder when we stopped doing that? We used to cling desperately to each moment. Now we seem to rush from one thing to the next.

I had a vision of my father today while I was at church. My father, who is very much alive, is a big part of my life. He helped me shape so much of who I am. His joy of life and easy going nature are part of who I am. The vision I had was not about the present but about the past. It was a memory of a snow storm that we had when I was smaller. I remember going outside with my Dad and trying to follow him through the deep snow. It was hard because my legs were small. He told me to walk in his tracks and it would be much easier. So I did... and it was. That simple moment has really clarified for me what being a father is all about.

Dad's clear the way for those who follow. So that we not only have a path to follow but that some of the rough spots have been ironed out. Notice that I didn't say all obstacles have been removed. Dad's are not here to take all the roadblocks away. There are some times when we need to experience the bumps and bruises along the way.

This lead me to thinking about all the other men who have been instrumental in my life. From my first pastor, Rev Timity, my Grand Father and Great Uncles, to my spiritual mentors, Pastor, Bro Phillips and Pastor Paul. Even some of my business mentors have had tremendous influence in my life. I thank God for the men he has brought into my life. Each one has left an impression in my life that I hope that I will have the privilege of sharing with others.

That is really what we are here for. To help each other grow and share in each others journeys. So as this Father's Day draws to a close I hope that every man out there knows that they are impacting the lives around them. For good or ill...

I hope that you all of you who need too have reached out to those fathers in your lives. If you haven't now is the time. If you are feeling like you do not have a father to talk to then let me share a secret with you. There is a Father who has his hand extended out to you right now. He wants to hear from you right now and He will always listen. He will never and has never left you. No matter what you have done He is ready to receive you with open arms. All you have to do is call out to Him. He will answer.

I love you all and wish you the best this Father's Day.

Go Go Go

Today's Quote...

"Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon... must inevitably come to pass!"

 

- Paul J. Meyer

What Are You Capable Of? | Five Minute Drill

Five Minute Drill - What Are You Capable Of?

When I was teaching I used give my students what I called the 5 minute Drill. No matter the discipline I used this technique to draw out the creativity in them. By starting off the class with this I "hopefully" prepared them to use their creative muscles for problem solving. So since I have 5 minutes until my hamburgers are done here is my 5 minute drill.

"Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing." ~ John Andrew Holmes

I made a habit with my oldest daughter was small to tell her that she is capable of anything. That there is nothing that she cannot do. I caught a lot of flack for that because it made her into a bit of a daredevil. She is a super climber and a fierce jumper. When she was just learning to walk she would climb onto the couch and then walk across to the coffee table and then onto my chair. I would watch her try to balance on the edge of things and paray that she wouldn't fall. Some friends would scold her and say, "You can't do that. You are to small to jump that far. Stop you'll hurt yourself." I would tell her to try it anyway. Sometimes she would make it and I would cheer. Other times she would fall and I would hold her as she cried.

I would constantly tell her that there is nothing that she cannot do. This way when I share with her the real work that she is called to do than there won't be any reason for her to back down. What is this real work you ask. You'll find it in Matthew 28. Let me share it with you.

"Meanwhile, the eleven disciples were on their way to Galilee, headed for the mountain Jesus had set for their reunion. The moment they saw him they worshiped him. Some, though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally.

Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: "God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I'll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age. - Matthew 28:16-20 Message"

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God's Man | Changing Your Thinking...

Changing Your Thinking

So I got this in my email today. I get so many different messages a day I barely ever read them all. This one however caught my attention and I have been processing it ever since. Take a look

Dear Carlton,

"If you want to become wealthy, let go of your middle-class beliefs that say money is about ego or greed. World-class wealth gives you control of your time and the luxury of doing what you want, when you want. Middle-class earners are slaves to money and are forced to undersell their time. Rich people have options and choices. It's not about ego or greed. It's about hating the idea of spending your life as a slave subservient to the demands of others, and subsequently finding a way to exchange a product or service for the exact amount of wealth you need to buy your freedom."

-Steve Siebold

The first time I experienced Steve Siebold was through his book, 101 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class. I love this book and I recommend that you pick it up. It was a an eye opening book for me and even now, 5 or so years later, I am still digesting it. The major thrust was changing your thinking to change your actions. Change your actions to change your outcomes. When I first got this book I felt as though my life good enough. I wasn't really challenging myself. I was content.

Now there is nothing wrong with being content where you are. Learn to have joy whether at the top, bottom, or middle. There is however a fine line between being content and settling.

Being content = :)

Settling = :(

I haven't run across any reason to settle for less than your best. If your calling is higher than your reality that you need to examine your thinking.

But back to the message above. One of the most visited posts on this blog is Postive Thinking, Negative Thinking, Right Thinking. This post was all about the choices that we make. One of the most important choices that we make is what we think about during the day.

Today I want everyone to examine their thoughts. For those nerds out there track it in a spreadsheet. For the free spirits draw it out. Whatever your slant see if the thoughts that you have are consistent with where you want to go. For me I found that where I wanted to go was completely incompatible with my thinking. For those the marrieds see if you and your spouses thoughts match your goals. Heck, make sure that you are focused on the same goals. ;)

I hope that this message speaks to you.

Go Go Go

PS. I will be back to publish the links to these resources after I find a plug. Battery is dying.

30 Day Trial | Day 30 | Finish Strong...

Welcome to Day 30 - Finishing Strong

Congratulations To all of you who have run this race with me. I am so glad to see so many of you at the finish line. Everyone of you has shown tremendous strength getting this far and now it is time to evaluate how you are did. I mentioned yesterday about the retrospective process. This is something that I do with my coaching clients as well as in my corporate life. The beauty of this comes in its simplicity. The Retro asks three simple questions. I want each of you to ask yourself these in regards to your 30 Day Trial.

What do I want to keep?
What went well during this 30 Day Trial that I want to hold on to? What changes, feelings, ideas, do I want to incorporate into my life? For me this challenge has taught me that I can write 30 days worth of content for this site or any new site that I plan to create. I want to keep the creativity that I gained trying to come up with useful content each day. I also want to keep responding to feedback posted in the comments section.

What do I want to change?
This is usually the most contentious section of the retro. Especially if you are working with couples or teams. This question examines what did not go so well. What didn't go as planned? What could we do better. For me I would like to change the frequency that I post during this challenge. I think that 3 days would be more sustainable for me, especially as I begin to grow the number of blogs that I am writing for. I would also like to offer 2 larger prizes instead of 4 smaller ones. I also want to structure the timing for my posts. Instead of throwing them in I need to pick a time for posting each day. Maybe this can be another challenge.

What do I want to add?
This question examines if there are any new processes that need to be added to make this challenge more effective. The difference between this question and the last is these items are things that crept up during the challenge that would make this process smoother. For me I found that I need to implement themes to the challenge so that I can focus my writing for the 30 Days. This would help me develop post ideas in advance. I also want to make this process more interactive. Maybe a facebook group with message board since most of you are on Face.

The End? Or Just the Beginning?
Overall I enjoyed this challenge and I am glad that you all joined with me. I have been encouraged by your struggles and victories over the last 30 Days. I hope that you learned as much as I did through this process. Will you be keeping your new habits or letting them go. I think I know the answer for some of you.

Blog Statistics over the Challenge
For the nerds out there here are some statistics on how this challenge improved this blog's performance. The increase is over the previous 30 Days. Overall I am pleased. Hopefully all of those folks who were visiting during this time will join in the next challenge.

• 802 Unique Visits (+194%)
• 1,275 Page Views (+267%)
• 1.59 pages per visit (+25%)

Keep going. I will let you know when the next challenge starts.

Go GO GO!